Happy Birthday Nessie!
by Becca962
Summary: It's Nessie's birthday and Emmett and Jasper have to make the cake. What will go wrong when two men who haven't cooked in hundreds of years try to make a cake? R&R :D


**Disclaimer: Only in my dreams...**

**AN-It's been two weeks and I have another story. For those of you who voted on my pole this might be familiar. I thought of this completely randomly when my aunt had to use the computer. I was going to make cookies, but I thought up this instead! I hope you like it!**

**Huge thanks to my amazing, fast beta, who also gives me a million ideas. She co-authored this story too! 578!!! (A.k.a. Erin, my best friend)**

**Please review and vote on my pole!**

* * *

**Happy Birthday Nessie!**

**EMPOV**

It was Nessie's birthday. She was turning three, but she seemed to be about 12. Bella and Edward wanted to plan a party, so Nessie was at a friend's house. Bella, Edward, and Alice were shopping for some last minute gifts. I had been the responsible one and bought my gift, like a month ago.

They were going to get the gifts wrapped in the store, and then pick up Nessie. We would have the party. Jasper and I were on cake duty and I wasn't sure where Carlisle and Esme were, but I knew Rosalie was upstairs working on her gift.

"Do we even have cake stuff?" I asked Jasper

"How should I know?" He replied, obviously just as clueless as me. "Only Bella, Edward, and Esme cook."

"Go check the kitchen." I ordered lazily.

He went in the kitchen, looked around, and came out. "I don't know what we need for a cake."

"Then we'll go get a recipe." I offered

"Okay," Jasper agreed, "Let's go shopping."

* * *

We went to the nearest grocery store, grabbed a cart and looked around. Some girls gave us a funny look.

"Jasper did you just notice those girls?" I asked

"No," He answered, "I was looking for a recipe book."

"I think they thought we were gay." I whispered

Jasper jumped away from me, afraid of our new image. "Not. Cool. Dude."

"Lets go find a recipe."

We walked over to the baking section. There was some home magazine with a bunch of recipes. I guess it looked reliable enough. So I grabbed some scissors and cut one out. I put the magazine and scissors back, then pocketed the recipe. Jasper gave me a funny look.

"What," I laughed, "I'll pay them back."

Jasper rolled his eyes "Whatever, let's get what we need and go."

We got all of the stuff on the list, including frosting. I didn't exactly trust my cake making skills, but I _really_ didn't trust my frosting making skills.

"Your total is $42.36" The lady said, apparently cake cost big bucks around here

I handed her a fifty. "Keep the change." I figured that would make up for the stolen recipe.

* * *

We got home and I looked at the list. It seemed simple enough.

_**Chocolate Cake**_

_**2 cups sugar**_

_**1 ¾ cups flour**_

_**¾ cups cocoa**_

_**1 ½ t baking powder**_

_**1 t salt**_

_**2 eggs**_

_**1 cup milk**_

_**½ cup vegetable oil**_

_**2 t vanilla**_

_**1 cup boiling water**_

Jasper and I started making the cake. Step One: Preheat oven to 350. That was easy enough. Step Two: Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl.

"Jasper," I asked "Is that little't' a tablespoon or teaspoon?"

"I have no idea," He responded "Ask Rosalie."

"ROSALIE!!" I bellowed "CAN YOU COME DOWN HERE?"

She came down "What do you need?" She snapped, annoyed.

"Is the little't' on this recipe a tablespoon or a teaspoon?" I asked, sweetly

"I think it's a tablespoon." She responded "But don't hold me to that. If it's wrong I will deny ever speaking to you."

"Whatever," I kissed her on the cheek and she went back upstairs, to finish Nessie's gift on her computer. She wouldn't even tell me what it was.

"Jasper," I said, "Can you toss me the baking powder?"

"Uhh," He looked around at our supplies "We didn't get baking powder. You grabbed baking soda instead."

"I don't care;" I grabbed the baking soda "It'll be fine."

Jasper did the next step. Step Three: Add eggs, milk, oil, and vanilla. Rosalie came down again, as Jasper was tossing in the eggs.

"I'm pretty sure you need to crack the eggs." Rosalie looked at Jasper

"Oh," He looked at the bowl "Okay." He took the wooden spoon and smashed the eggs "Like that?"

"I'm not really sure," Rosalie looked at the gooey concoction "I just remember you need to crack the eggs."

"What's the next step?" Jasper asked

"Stir in the boiling water." I read off the directions

Jasper stirred it. "What's next?"

"Put it in the pan and bake for 30 minutes." I tossed him a pan. Jasper dumped the batter in, and he shoved it in the oven. I set the timer, and cleaned up all the dishes. Jasper put all the supplies away.

"Whaddaya wanna do for a half hour?" I asked Jasper

"Whatever, it's not that long."

We played PlayStation3 for a half hour and the timer dinged. The cake cooled for ten minutes and then I frosted it with pink frosting. It was Nessie's favorite color.

* * *

We finished just in time. Edward pulled up in the Volvo as soon as a put the cake on Esme's nice plate.

"Hey, Uncle Emmett!" Nessie smiled as she walked in the house "Is there anything you want to say to me?"

"Happy Birthday Nessie!" I picked her up and spun her around. She was so short!

"Put me down!" She giggled

I set her down "How does the cake look?" I asked as Bella and Edward walked in holding presents

"It looks amazing." She skipped over to it and snitched some frosting "And it tastes better than it looks!"

"When's Jake going to be here?" Bella asked Alice, who walked in holding a huge bag

"Three minutes." Alice responded and set Nessie's gift in the pile. It was getting really, really big. Mine was already there, and Rosalie came and set hers down, adding to the expensive mass of girly gifts.

"Happy Birthday Nessie!" She hugged Nessie

"Thanks everyone." Nessie giggled, as she stared at her pile of presents.

Just then, Jacob walked in. He was holding a huge box.

"What is that?" Edward asked incredulously

"Why don't you just read my mind and find out?" Jacob snapped back as he set the box down. Nessie ran up and hugged him.

"Happy Birthday Ness!" Jacob smiled

"I would read your mind, but you're blocking it." Edward told Jacob

"Oh yeah, I guess I am." He laughed, Edward didn't even smile.

"Can we open presents now?" Nessie begged her dad

"I guess." He couldn't resist her. Bella pulled out a huge garbage bag for all of the wrapping paper.

"Yay!" She sat by the pile "Which should I open first?"

"Whichever one you want." Esme smiled. She walked in with Carlisle out of nowhere.

"Where were you guys?" I asked them

"Finishing up Nessie's present." Carlisle answered as he set down an envelope. He probably got her a savings bond or something. Old people tended to get dumb presents like that.

"I'll open this one." She grabbed Alice's and pulled a box out of the bag. Nessie smiled and hugged Alice and Jasper. I think it was some designer clothes, but I wasn't sure "Thank you guys so much!"

"Open mine next." I pushed the big box towards her. She stood up and looked at it.

"It's taller than me." She looked at it

"Open it." I encouraged

"Okay," She pulled the paper off and saw the box. It was a plain shipping box.

"Open the box." I smiled

She grabbed at the side fold and pulled. It popped open and out came a gargantuan teddy bear.

"Oh my gosh," Nessie cried, "I love it!" She dived into the bear and giggled, "Thank you so much Uncle Emmett."

"You're welcome Ness. Now go open your other presents, even though none will be as good as mine."

She opened Rosalie's, which was a brand, new iPod Touch full of songs, apps, and videos. The she opened Bella and Edward's. It was some famous series of vampire books. They thought it was pretty funny. The first one was called _Dusk_. The other three were _Full Moon, Solstice_, and _High Noon_. They seemed familiar to me, but I never read them. Whatever, I must have just seen them in some store. Carlisle and Esme's present was three plane tickets to Florida. Their cute, happy, little family could go visit the grandparents. Boring.

Last was Jacob's present; it was the only box that was bigger then mine. Nessie tore off the paper, and shrieked.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH JAKE I LOVE IT SOOOOO MUCH!!"

It was a motorcycle. A small, pink one, but yet a motorcycle. Edward looked like he might murder Jacob, who was smiling like a crazy man.

"You're so welcome Nessie." She gave him a hug "I'm glad you like it!"

"Like it?" She asked, "I love it!"

Bella smiled, probably thinking about her experiences.

"Are you ready for cake?" Bella asked Nessie

"Yep." She smiled and walked into the kitchen. Esme put some candles in the cake, and turned out the lights. We all sang, and Nessie blew out the candles. I cut the cake and handed Nessie and Jake a piece.

"You first." Jacob handed Ness a fork

She grabbed a huge bite and spit it out. "What did you guys do to it?" She grimaced at Jasper and I.

"What do you mean?" Jake took a bite, and followed suit "That is nasty!" Jake threw out his piece.

"I followed the directions." I looked at Bella

"Tell me what you did?" Bella asked

I explained it all and she looked at me "Emmett, Jasper" She started "The little't' means teaspoon, baking powder and soda are very different, and eggshells are not supposed to go in the cake."

"Oops." Jasper and I replied together

"Yeah oops." Nessie laughed

"I saw it coming." Alice laughed and pulled out an nice, store-bought, chocolate cake

"Yum!" Nessie looked at it and smiled "Thanks for trying, guys." Nessie hugged Jasper and I "But next time, you're not allowed to touch my cake."


End file.
